Do you remember the one where Chumbawamba tipped a bucket of water over John Prescott?
Or the one where Jarvis Cocker kicked a load of children, pulled down his trousers and shoved Michael Jackson while he performed Earth Song?
How about the one where Adele got cut off halfway through her acceptance speech so stuck her middle finger up at the camera... hmmm, not quite got the same rock and roll ring to it that last one.
And that sort of sums up last night's Brits. After a triumphant London Fashion Week, the Brit Awards were just a bit dull. Too much X Factor shiny, young manufacturedness in (delete as applicable) tight, bright, shiny things/ Burton tailoring in complimentary shades of grey. Too much ginger troll dressed up as the fat controller (sorry Ed Sheeran, low blow). Too much Blur (who must generally be a bit of a mystery to anyone answering no to the first two questions in this post). And not enough Adele.
But, onto the important stuff. Who wore what? Well that was also a little dull. We love Adele and we do get the logic behind the long sleeved, floor-length black but it's all getting a bit de ja vu.
Talking of de ja vu, Kylie was there looking as though she was wearing a mask made from a photo of herself cut out of an issue of Heat magazine from circa 2000. She looked very glossy and pretty in her kingfisher blue YSL, but it wasn't very exciting.
Lana Del Rey looked nice in her red Vivienne Westwood with matching talons (and we mean talons, the girl has claws like an eagle) but let herself down a little with the whole Gwenyth Paltrow act as she picked up her award for best International Breakthrough Act.
More de ja vu from Jessie J who looked as though she was doing Fergie at the Grammys by numbers (we did prefer her Falguni & Shane Peacock take on the red with underwear showing look to Fergie's JPG though).
Florence Welch did an excellent job of matching her legs to her Alexander McQueen mullet dress for her red carpet entrance but looked absolutely stunning in the McQueen dress that she wore to perform later on in the evening.
Holly Willoughby was giving great cleavage but her dress was otherwise nondescript. She should take a leaf out of Jessica Chastain's how to show off good cleavage to full effect book.
Pixie Lott looking as though she'd just about recovered from the shame of being asked to sit second row at Mulberry (causing her to storm out of Claridges before the show started on Sunday), wore Dolce & Gabanna which had the potential to be gorgeous but was just a bit too tight and a bit too long. Great red lips and matching clutch though and we love that cocktail ring (Alexis Bittar?).
After topping our best dressed list at the Grammys, Rihanna notched up another 3BM gold star (and for us, the only red carpet gold star of the evening) in Givenchy. We loved the beading, particularly down the back but we wished she'd ditched the long, brown leather gloves.
Which just leaves us to ask two final questions.
Was it just the vicious combover or has Fearne Cotton had some work done?
And were Emma Bunton's savage arm injuries the result of a run in with Lana Del Rey's talons?
Images via: www.dailymail.co.uk