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Tuesday 27 August 2013

The VMAs 2013: from bare faced chic to baring cheeks...

We meant to post this yesterday but it's taken us 24 hours to get over that flesh coloured latex bikini and Miley Cyrus' quite terrifying tongue

In case you somehow missed the source of our bemusement...

Gifs via:

Yup, no words hey...?!

Other attendees of Sunday's VMAs did actually decide to wear some clothes (although in some cases it may have caused less offence all round if they'd just followed Miley's example...). 

We love a good awards red carpet not least because, as it mean as it sounds, nothing brings us greater pleasure than the fact that even celebrities who have designer clothes and shoes thrown at them, a stylist on speed dial and professional hair, make-up and spray tan people at their beck and call still manage to get it so very horribly wrong... The VMAs, like the Grammys, are a particular delight because the mix of reality stars, Z-listers and the occasional actual mega star trying to do down-with-the-kids-cool is the perfect recipe for a menagerie of fashion fall out. We'd really love to know the stats on instances of stylists getting sacked the day after the VMAs...

So here for your viewing pleasure is our round-up of the best-dressed (the Phwoars), the dullards (the Snores), those dressed as animals (the Roars... ok that was just Katy Perry and it's a bit tenuous but it rhymes...) and the people who clearly got dressed in the dark by colourblind clowns...

The Phwoars

Ciara in Givenchy

Holland Roden in Naeem Khan

Alison Williams in Valentino

Joan Smalls in Viktor & Rolf

Shailene Woodley in Pucci

The Snores

Taylor Swift in safe Herve Leger

Ed Sheeran in the same outfit he always wears

Rihanna in a T-shirt and jeans

The Roars

Katy Perry in Emanuel Ungaro

We think we actually preferred when Coco was roaring this look down the red carpet at the Met Ball back in February...

The Colourblind Clown Crew

Richard Simmons in something understated

Robin Thicke in a referee's Sunday best

Lil' Kim in a too tight perforated bin bag and custard-coloured boots

Justin Timberlake in white steel-cap toed shoes and a bib

Sarah Hyland in Wonderwoman's Cast-offs

DJ Cassidy in Bert the Chimney Sweep's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Costume


And top beauty trend of the evening? Pared-back, simple, almost scrubbed clean faces reigned supreme. 

Left to Right: Lady Gaga; Rita Ora; Erin Wasson; and Ciara.

We suspect the beauty memo doing the rounds read 'bare-faced chic' but somewhere between Miley's memo reader and her latex hotpants specialist the Chinese Whispers ended in 'bare ass cheek' - poor old team Cyrus, we'd expect your P45s in the post tomorrow...

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